martedì 16 dicembre 2008

what is it with them?

yeah.. what is it??? what is it with indonesian people..
beware.. this is a blah-blah-blah post and you might get boring while you reading it..
okay, im a big-plus size-fat bottomed girl-whatsoever (you can browse my old post and see how plus size i am!) but come on...... im not a giant!! (or maybe i am but i just cannot realize it!?)
but....... yeah, my bottom is huge, its bigger that it should be.. its just too much and im a tall-tall girl, only 172 cm but its pretty tall for an indonesian girl, many people mistaken me as a foreigner..
enough about 'me' introduction..
lets start about indonesian people and their manner-less mouth.. it seems like they cannot passing me by without make a comment about me or make an unfunny jokes.. they makes me feel so dirty so sinful and so wrong about my body..
its like..being fat or large or plus size is just like being a monster.. it makes you sooo different, sooo unlikeable..
they always see me physically.. they forget about my personality..

okay, im a bad girl.. not 'bad' like smoking, partying and drinking all nite kinda girl but more like grumpy, angry, cryer and spoiled one..
i just cant take it when someone commenting about how wide is my bottom or when they comparing me to my mom, mom has that curvy sexy but sporty body in her 40s plus a younger look and gorgeous hair and its not only because im her daughter so i said those things but its true! she always attracting people (especially men!) around her.. she only wears jeans and tee and no make up but people gives him so much compliment about how young she looks.. and when it comes to "ooowh, you look so young, i thought you are your daughter's sister!" or "who's the mother and who's the daughter??" or "wow, you are much bigger than your mom!"..
COME ON! is it wrong to be bigger than your mom? its the GENE!! my great grandmother for mom's side had a very wide bottom and she was fat, her grandmother was a dutchwoman.. and my grandmother from dad's side had a very sexy rather big breast and her husband a.k.a my grandfather was reeeeaaally tall about 190 cm... thanks god im only 172 cm!!
man never looks at me.. they always has their eyes for a skinny girl even though that girl is not pretty..

i eats just a small portion (except when mom is cooking or im in japanese restaurant) and those people cannot believe it..
but seriously... i dont eat too much, my only problem is only lazyness.. i hate sport (but i loove football especially footballers!) or gym whatsoever.. and i loooove sleeping where i could get away from those people who always insulting me and cannot give me a freedom to wear whatever i want or always giving me that weirdo freaking look... like im a giant!!
once, a classmate asked me about my pants size.. "what size or did you have it tailored?" duhh! i got really angry and that time and i just replied "my pants is not even the biggest size!" they cannot stop their mouth and become seriously curious about my size or weight.. im not even the fattest or biggest girl..

please.. let me live in peace, im not a tough person who make fun of myself when im getting a bad comment.. im a cryer.. i cries and having a seriously bad mood when im getting one..
please, indonesian people.. stop that manner-less mouth..stop that unfunny jokes about fat girl.. stop..just stop...

ps: this picture is amazing.. i want to live somewhere when they dont think fatness as a disease, where i could savely wears bikini..
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i admit it that i always try to post my best picture, pictures when i looks pretty or skinnier.. but these pictures below were me in september and doing silly on a street and didnt really care about how i looked.. sheila took these pictures.. (nothing really change since that time.. still the same size)
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14 commenti:

Nadine ha detto...

I have to admit: the picture really scares me.

arkasha ha detto...

lmao the pics are definitely OBESE ppl and that's not healthy. btw i'm 165 cms and would love to have your height. :) and, yeah, genes really do their stuffs. i eat like a horse but my weight cannot be more than 48 kgs in my life. and now i am currently 45 kgs. and i hate doing sports too. btw, i'm adding your facebook as my friend. kk.

Winnie ha detto...

That picture is really scary.

Aww, It's hard enough when we all have body/image worries but to always have people point them out is horrible. I don't think people realise how hurtful it can be!

Ariella ha detto...

You should try to be more confident! You really don't look as bad as you describe yourself :) Chin up!

idaidaida ha detto...

Don't give a fuck to what they say about your body!!

idaidaida ha detto...

You are who you are. My body isn't as hot as those thin thin girls. Its ok!

issa ha detto...

great blog! and srsly being comfortable with who you are is what it's all about


Youre a shining star.


Who are you Weesha? ha detto...

Hey, u know as much as you think being Indian is cool- it's the same thing about fat. Fat is just openly stated as ugly, unworthy and anyone who doesn't fit in with the standard skinny, long black hair crowd is made fun of.
Things get better when u get better. Accept that you're different and work it, accept that u're cute and funny and so much more than just chubby. God, you're not even THAT chubby!
Dyu really want a guy so shallow that size is all he sees? Just focus on yourself & screw everyone else, its your body and your life not theirs.

Dane ha detto...

This post just broke my heart. Everyone should be able to look however god created them without feeling like less of a person. I sometimes get comments on my blog about how Im "fat" or my thighs are huge.. whatever. Funnily enough these are people who dont use their accounts or real names to comment, because they probably dont want you to come back and see how insecure they are. I used to be a model, I was very thin, I did drugs and didnt sleep, but I think i look better now. Its about confidence, and loving yourself. When you learn to love yourself, other people will too.

karl's sweet child ha detto...

thank you girls..
you makes me feel better about myself..

Margarete ha detto...

I think it`s not an indonesian problem, people are everywhere the same. Here in Berlin most women are very slim (or skinny...), so sometimes i feel like beeing a giant whale...

By the way, this picture... wuaaaaaah, i think i will print it and put it on the fridge.

Yehezkiel Abisay ha detto...

u seem nice and that's it! its the most important thg..

Anonimo ha detto...

Indonesians are not the only people that think like that, most (bad) people are. All you got to do is be confident and loss all the insecurity in you, just ignore whatever bad things people say. Or you can do sports if you dislike your own body. Your choice.